THE WIDOW WHO NEVER WAS

ALIRA'S POV

I gazed at the results in my hands over and over again in confusion.

My hands shook violently as I read through every line carefully to make sure I wasn't reading any part wrong.

"Wh..wh..what's the mea...meaning of this doctor?? I..I.. don't...understand." I said as I stuttered.

"I am so sorry Mrs Alira but your chances of carrying a child of your own are very slim and nearly impossible....but there are other options to look at..we have surrogacy, adoptions and..."

"No!!!!! No..no..no..no..this can't be, doctor...this test is wrong!! I am sure it is...I felt something move inside of my stomach...I know I am pregnant."

"It could be gas or stress because sometimes stress can manifest physically including having abdominal sensations." The doctor said as tears welled up in my eyes.

"But why?? Why can't I ever conceive??? Why!!!!"

"Try to be calm Mrs Alira while I explain the reasons for you...remember the time you got pregnant and took some pills you mistook for vitamins that we later found out they weren't actually vitamins, the pills caused a major damage in your womb...after conducting further tests, we determined that the damage to your uterus is extensive, making it unlikely for you to carry a pregnancy to term....the scarring from the miscarriage you had have compromised the uterine lining and structure, increasing the risk of complications during pregnancy, such as miscarriage or even uterine rupture....Unfortunately, in your case, the damage is irreparable, and we cannot guarantee a safe and successful pregnancy."

At that moment, my brain wasn't processing whatever the doctor was explaining to me anymore.

I suddenly started reminiscing when I found out I was pregnant after two whole years of trying for a child.

.

.

.

The happiness I felt when I rushed home to my husband to break the good news to him and the look of disappointment on his face when he said to me,

"We can't have children right now Alira, try to understand...my career is just starting to blossom...I don't want kids getting in the way of that."

The career my husband was talking about was the same career I helped him build, the same career I sacrificed my inheritance for, the same career I had sleepless nights for...it was the same career my husband said he didn't want our kids getting in the way of.

"What are you saying to me Alec?? You know I've been trying so hard to get pregnant for the past two years and this is the excitement I get from you??" I asked in disbelief.

"No my love...it's not that I am not happy about this...I really am but try to understand...I am not ready to be a Father."

"What exactly are you trying to say Alec?? I should get rid of my pregnancy?? Because if you aren't ready to be a Father, I am ready to be a Mother." I bit out in anger.

"You don't understand where I am coming from Alira and that's the