Married to a Man Who Doesn't Understand the Silent Treatment

My husband, Chandler Goodwin, claims that he doesn't understand what the phrases "silent treatment" or "giving the cold shoulder" mean. Yet, in the three years we have been married, he has never once spoken to me sweetly.

The first time we have a falling out, I remain proud and dignified. We end up ignoring each other for seven days straight.

The seventh time we have a cold standoff, I start to panic a little. However, despite trying all sorts of methods, he doesn't back down.

The 11th time it happens, I have already learned to work through my emotions myself. Chandler doesn't even need to say anything before I take the initiative to apologize first.

I simply think that he's just a naturally indifferent person, that nobody can warm his stone-cold heart.

Then, on the third year of our marriage, I accidentally ruin his dress shirt while ironing it. Chandler doesn't say a word, but that very night, he packs his things and moves into a hotel.

On the third day of being blocked, I head to his company with a handwritten apology.

While passing by his office, I spot him leaning over to shoot his angry assistant a doting smile.

"I'm sorry for raising my voice at you just now and upsetting you. It's been 57 minutes since you started ignoring me. Please stop giving me the cold shoulder, alright?"

I freeze on the spot, the apology letter in my hand practically burning my fingers.

As it turns out, it's not that he doesn't know what the silent treatment means—it's just that I've never been the person he wants to coax.

The apology letter was an unspoken agreement between Chandler Goodwin and me. Every time we fought, I had to handwrite one as an olive branch.

The first time I wrote an apology letter, tears and snot drenched my face. On one hand, I kept berating myself for humbling myself to this point for a man's sake. On the other hand, I just couldn't stop my hand from moving across the page. After all, being given the silent treatment was just too tormenting.

Eventually, there was a third time, a ninth time, a 17th time… It was like a vicious cycle.

In fact, on the way to the company, I had even been thinking, "Was my handwriting neat enough? Was my attitude sincere enough? Chandler will probably stop being angry once he reads this, right?"

Yet now, seeing the genuine warmth and affection in his eyes as he stared at his assistant, I only felt a chill sweep through my entire body.

As it turned out, it wasn't that he didn't understand what the silent treatment meant—it was just that I'd never been someone he was willing to coax.

While Chandler was busy with a meeting, I took the opportunity to meet with his assistant. After ordering our coffees, I carefully scrutinized the woman across from me.

She wasn't as pretty as I was, perhaps just a bit above