Hearts on Ice

"I'm sorry dad... I'm sorry!" he screamed louder. The words barely came out of his small mouth, as he tripped over.  His fists trembled against the cold floor.

"I didn't mean to! I'll do better!" He cried out. "I swear I'll do better!"

Another vicious whip tore against his back making him cry louder. Blood ran across his head to his back, his arms and everywhere at once, until he couldn't tell where one strike ended and the next began. His vision blurred as tears ran uncontrollably... he curled into himself, trying to make his body smaller... maybe it'll end all the pain.

"Useless!"

The voice was harsh and familiar. It echoed louder than the pain he had taken.

"Good for nothing!"

"I'm trying..." he choked, voice shaking. "I'm trying, please-"

Another hit. He flinched violently, a scream ripping through him.

"I'll be better! I'll be better, I promise! Please don't-"

"You should have died instead of your mother!"

Another hit tore the peace, the words were cold and final.

He squeezed his eyes shut and pressing his forehead to his hands as if that alone could make it all end.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

Then Lukas jolted up.

His chest rose and fell rapidly, almost desperate for life. Sweat and tears ran down his face as if he'd been running and for a moment, he didn't move or blink. He just stared at the ceiling, letting the silence settle. Then he exhaled slowly,

"...not this damn nightmare again."

His voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper. It was the same dream... over and over, never changing.

He dragged a hand over his hair, pushing himself to sit on the bed. The room was dim and the faint morning light slipping through the curtains, soft and calm, a great irony compared to what he'd just seen.

Or rather... remembered.

He didn't think about it too long. He never did.

Dropping his legs over the side of the bed, he stood and stretched slightly, already pushing the remains of the dream away. There was no use holding onto it and no use trying to make sense of something he couldn't even fully see anymore.

And that was the strangest part... he couldn't remember their faces anymore... not clearly at least. And no matter how hard he tried, they were always blurred like shadows just out of reach.

But their voices? Those stayed in his head. Clear and sharp.

He paused for a second, fingers tightening slightly at his side. "...tch."

He turned away and headed to the bathroom... there was no point thinking about them. Not anymore.

*****

By the time Lukas stepped onto campus, he looked like a totally different person. Composed and sharp. No one knew about his struggles... no one but him and even he disappeared.

Students passed by him in clusters, voices low but curious, eyes following him for just a second too long.

"That's him, right?"

"Yeah... Reiner."

"Top of the class again..."

"And