Guiding Light to Rebirth

Ethan Hayes and I grew up together, but we ended up resenting each other for a lifetime.

He blamed me for taking matters into my own hands, forcing his memories back, and causing his true love to jump off a building.

I blamed him for going back on his word. He promised to love me forever, but after losing his memory, he fell for someone else.

In the early stages of our ten-year marriage, we were as cold as strangers who knew each other too well.

When I got diagnosed with ALS, everyone in town urged him to divorce me.

He only carried me to a chapel, knelt among the burning candles for an entire day and night, and prayed for a miracle.

On my deathbed, he held me through the night, his forehead against my cheek.

"I've done my duty to you in this life," he whispered. "If there's a next one, I hope you don't make me remember. Just let me be with her."

Tears slid down my face. I finally got it.

I shouldn't have chained him down with our teenage love, dragging him through a whole life.

When I opened my eyes again, I was back to the day I found Ethan.

This time, I chose to let him be with his true love instead of waking his memories.

...

"Mr. Hayes has lost his memory. He won't come back with us."

"But we've reached out to the top neurologist. He'll get his memories back soon."

The conversation was identical to the one from my last life, when I found the missing Ethan Hayes.

This time, though, I felt no excitement or urgency.

I turned it down and did two things.

First, I went to the hospital for a full-body checkup.

Second, with my ALS diagnosis in hand, I went to Ethan's parents to call off the engagement.

His mother, Gloria Hayes, grabbed my hand and shook her head. "We can't call it off. Ethan loves you so much. He'd never marry anyone else."

I stayed quiet and showed them a photo.

In it, Ethan gazed at a woman playing a mermaid at the aquarium, obsessed.

"Rather than force him to marry a terminal patient like me, let's keep things as they are," I said. "Let him be with whom he loves. I don't want to hold him back anymore."

In my last life, after Ethan vanished in an accident, I searched for him for five whole years.

I found him living sweetly with Hanna Schultz, who had taken him in. Against his wishes, I forced a hypnotist to restore his memories.

The day he remembered, Hanna jumped off a building and died. From then on, a chasm opened between Ethan and me that we could never bridge.

In my past life, the initial phase of our decade-long marriage had been filled with coldness. After I got ALS, he cared for me for seven years, feeding me, bathing me, praying for me, and seeking doctors for