A Frisky Text to My Husband

Three years married, yet my husband and I had never once held hands.

With a grudge I'd been quietly nursing, I took a photo of myself in sexy lingerie with my back to the camera and sent it to him from a throwaway account.

I expected it to go nowhere. Two minutes later, my phone buzzed.

[Your family member has purchased a same-day return flight.]

[She's just keeping you around for fun. Don't let me catch you, you horndog.]

"Mr. Reed sure is a busy man. That's his third business trip this month alone."

I selected the photo I had just taken, held my breath, and hit send.

The angle was clever, styled to look like a sneaky shot. The bottom right corner of the frame strategically captured a sliver of a man's pajamas.

The message went through with a chime. I tossed my phone across the room as if it were a live grenade.

"Look at you. You have zero spine, yet you're trying to play these games with Liam," Mia said, her face a portrait of sheer disappointment.

"Anyone would be nervous acting as their fictional lover," I buried my face into a throw pillow and groaned, my anxiety spiking. "Do you think he'll realize I set this whole thing up?"

"Stop stressing. If he figures it out, just call it a prank."

"I don't think he and I are on casual pranking terms." I wanted to cry, instantly regretting my impulsiveness.

"You two have been married for three years. You live together under the same roof, and yet you're still this distant. Honestly, it's a miracle your hormones aren't acting up more."

"After three years with him, my hormones are dead."

Mia patted me in mock admiration, rolled her eyes, and shoved me aside to reach for the phone.

"Do you think he'll even see it?"

Before the words fully left her mouth, the phone buzzed and lit up. It was a message from Liam.

[She's just keeping you around for fun. Don't let me catch you, you horndog.]

Mia and I stared at each other in total silence.

"What's that? Is he insulting me?" This was the first time I had ever seen Liam talk like this. I was a little stunned, but mostly fascinated.

Liam and I had been married for three years, and despite living under the same roof, we barely spoke a word of substance to each other.

On the rare occasion he absolutely had to say something, he wrapped it up in a few brief sentences. This was the first time I had ever seen him actually lose his temper.

"To be exact, he's insulting your fictional side piece," Mia swallowed hard, hesitating.

Before I could process that, the phone buzzed again.

[AeroFly Airways: Your family member has purchased a same-day return flight.]

"And what is this supposed to mean? Is he flying back right now to beat me up?"

Panic officially set in.

"Or he's coming back to take you to