Turning to God for His First Love

My head was buzzing.

It turned out that the Moores were long aware of Evan and Jade's relationship—I was the only one being kept in the dark.

Marrying me was just a way to expand their family's influence. They didn't oppose his affair—on the contrary, they even helped cover it up, all while feeling proud of themselves.

They were going on about how business was business, and feelings were feelings. Did I really have to be a stepping stone for Evan's career?

Realization dawned on me at that moment. I finally understood why I still felt a distance between us, despite my good relationship with my in-laws.

That was because they had nothing but schemes for me. And all the while, I was foolish enough to let them use me for their plans.

I struggled to cover my mouth, trying to stop my tears from falling.

"Why are you standing here, Mrs. Moore?" one of the household staff exclaimed suddenly, alerting both Hannah and Evan inside.

They walked out of the house, their expressions changing when they saw me.

"Have you heard everything?" Evan asked.

"What's going on with Jade? What about Jadon? Do you even care for me? Why didn't you tell me that you still loved your first love before we got married?" My voice cracked as I couldn't hold myself back, staring at Evan, whom I had been married to for the past five years.

He came over, wanting to hug me for comfort, but the familiar scent of sandalwood now filled me with fear and disgust.

Evan smiled helplessly, seeing me step away. He looked at me as if he were looking at a child throwing a tantrum.

He said, "Don't be so childish, honey. We no longer have anything to do with each other now. I'm giving her shares because she gave up her career for me back then—it's only right that I make it up to her.

"You're my wife—you should be able to understand where I'm coming from. As for Jadon, he's our son, I'll definitely treat him well."

Anger boiled within me. Evan was always like this—no matter how aggrieved I was, he would only think I was throwing a tantrum.

I used to think it was because he had grown indifferent to things from everything he'd experienced. But now I realize he just never loved me.

I took a deep breath and stared straight at Evan. I calmed myself down—I wasn't about to bury my grievances like I usually did. "Fine. Then cut off all contact with her."

He frowned. "No way. We're not having an affair, so there's no need to cut off all contact."

"Then after you're done making up for Jade, you should move out of the monastery," I said.

"That won't do," Evan declined without hesitation. "I have been keeping you and Jadon in my prayers in the monastery, honey. Please don't be unreasonable and make things hard for me, okay?"

He sighed when he saw how my fists were still clenched. "I'll take my leave for now."

"We'll get a divorce then!" Evan was already at the end of the corridor before I could even finish my sentence.

I felt as if a knife had torn my heart apart, seeing his resolute back—I felt hurt and disgusted.

Hannah said, "You should be thankful, Cynthia. It's hard enough to harbor mutual respect in a marriage of convenience. Do you know how many people envy how well Evan has treated you? Jadon is already five—he would be upset if you get a divorce."

She had finally discarded her fake mask of kindness. Her words were sharp despite her gentle tone.

Hannah was even threatening me with Jadon.

No wonder the Moores rushed me to have a child as soon as I married into the family, even going as far as pushing for IVF.

The child whom I had risked my life giving birth to turned out to be nothing more than leverage for them to control me.

The household staff started gossiping after Hannah left.

"Mrs. Moore is really ungrateful. She's lucky enough to marry into the Moore family—she didn't have to do anything but enjoy her life, yet she's still causing so much trouble."

"She can't be compared to Ms. Spencer. After all, Ms. Spencer has her own career and doesn't need to depend on anyone."

"She's just there to look good anyway."

I finally understood why the household staff had always looked at me that way. I felt a lump of bitterness in my throat.

Evan was the one who said that there was no one to take care of the household. That was why I gave up on my career to manage the household matters.

Even if I hadn't married into the Moore family, I would've been able to enjoy my life the same way. But now, everything had been twisted to seem like I was being ungrateful.

I didn't want to explain myself to them. Instead, I fired all of the gossiping household staff.

…

Jadon came back at night. He was calling for Evan as soon as he stepped in.

In the past, Evan would always stay with us on this day—it was the day Jadon anticipated the most.

But because of Jade's return, not only did Evan not stay the night, but he didn't even prepare his monthly gift for Jadon.

Aggrieved, Jadon cried as he asked for Evan. He looked up and asked, "Did Daddy leave because you threw a tantrum again, Mommy?"

My blood ran cold as I stared at his wide eyes. Since when had I turned into the one throwing a tantrum?

I was the one who had been managing the household and tending to Jadon's daily needs. Evan only came back once per month to enjoy himself and play with Jadon. But now, he became a good father who was aggrieved, while I turned into a bad mother who threw tantrums.

Jadon's cries grew louder. I had no choice but to call Evan. However, the one answering the call wasn't him, but a woman.

In the background, I could hear the sounds of running water.

Jade said, "Are you looking for Evan? He's currently in the shower. By the way, you're his current wife, aren't you? I heard that you two are in a marriage of convenience, with no feelings involved."

I couldn't help but tighten my grip on the phone. It was hard for my imagination not to run wild, with how they were both alone, and Evan taking a shower late at night.

After I managed to calm myself down, I said, "Ask him to come back—his son is waiting for him."

Jade burst out laughing from the other end of the line. Her voice was just as Evan had described in his scripture—gentle and easy on the ears.

She said, "You're an adult yourself. You should be aware of what happens between a man and a woman before a shower, right?"

After the call ended, Jade sent me many photos of her and Evan tangled up in bed. His usually cold and distant gaze was burning with desire in her photos.

Her text read: "Mrs. Moore, it's been a while since you and Evan slept together, hasn't it? He's really desperate."

I closed my phone and put Jadon to bed.

I grew determined as I looked at his face and the phone that kept lighting up.

Perhaps Hannah was right—a marriage of convenience was just about appearances. While I could endure it, Jadon couldn't.

He was already starting to blame me. I didn't even want to imagine what kind of child he'd turn out to be if this went on.

…

After sending Jadon to kindergarten, I headed straight to the monastery and cornered Evan.

I said, "Didn't you say that you had nothing to do with your first love? Why didn't you return home last night, then? Didn't you know Jadon has been waiting for you?

"Your heart has been astray for a long time, Evan. Jadon cried all night yesterday—I'm done taking chances with your love. I'm giving you two choices—either I leave with Jadon, or Jade does!"

I never imagined one day I'd become someone who would lose my composure while cornering a man in public. But right now, I stared at Evan with bloodshot eyes, waiting for him to give me an answer.

"Don't force my hand here, Cynthia. Please wait for me outside, I'll go find you once I'm done here." He spoke in a low tone, as if I were someone he was ashamed to be seen with.

I stopped pushing, knowing that I couldn't get an answer now. But I wasn't expecting to bump into Jade as soon as I stepped out.

I had never seen her before, but Evan had described her so vividly in his scripture. Her jet-black hair, fair skin, even the small light brown mole by her brow—it was all exactly the same.

"You're just how I imagined you to be, Mrs. Moore." Jade gave me a once-over before sneering. "Do you want to know why Evan doesn't care even if you bring up your son?"

"Move aside," I said icily. I had nothing to say to a homewrecker who involved themselves in someone else's marriage.

However, Jade's voice came from behind me. "Both Evan and you aren't allergic to cherries, right? But why can't your son have cherries?"