Chapter 1
Kenneth Parker, my childhood friend—and the person I've secretly had a crush on—isn't into men.
In the end, I find myself wandering into one of those shops out of sheer loneliness and buying myself a toy.
That night, just as I'm about to follow the instructions to use it, someone suddenly opens the bedroom door. Kenneth stands in the doorway, his face frozen in complete and utter shock as he stares at me.
Blushing furiously, I try to pull the blanket and cover myself, but Kenneth rushes in and takes the toy from my hand.
He says, "It's alright, Xavier. I'll show you how to use it."
I used to harbor feelings for my childhood friend, Kenneth Parker, but I never told him about it because he wasn't into men.
Kenneth had the kind of face that seemed to attract every woman around him. He'd been catching their attention ever since he was a kid.
I got so used to seeing him receive love letters every day that I would have been more surprised if he didn't get one.
We had been friends since childhood, so I was the one tasked with handling all his love letters. I always felt especially happy whenever I tossed one in the trash, and I thought of that happiness as my possessiveness over my close friend.
This went on until we turned 16—when one day, a young man with a gentle, delicate countenance handed Kenneth a love letter, blushing as he did.
Instinctively, I ducked behind a wall, wanting to hear Kenneth's response. I couldn't quite put my finger on the feeling, but there was a bitter ache in my chest.
It was only then that I realized I probably had feelings for Kenneth.
I hid in the corner, filled with anticipation for Kenneth's response. I secretly hoped he would accept the love letter, but at the same time, I desperately wished he would turn the guy down.
Kenneth said, "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in men."
I couldn't help but feel my heart break at that moment. I had finally realized I had a crush on Kenneth—only to also realize that he didn't like men. His response made it clear that I had no chance before I could even get started.
It was an unrequited love story that ended before the first chapter.
I began to suppress my feelings for him and, gradually, I started avoiding him.
It wasn't long before Kenneth reached his breaking point. He pulled me aside and asked, "What's the matter with you, Xavier? You've been so out of it lately."
I glanced around nervously, feeling incredibly guilty. Then I chuckled awkwardly, stammering, "I-I'm fine. I don't think there's anything wrong with me. I'm sure you're just imagining things."
Kenneth grabbed my shoulders and looked at me intently. His voice held a tinge of hurt as he said, "You're not usually like this, Xavier. You haven't been acting like your usual playful self with me lately."
I lowered my head, feeling guilty. How could I possibly treat him the same as before? I hadn't even realized I liked him back then.
Kenneth asked, "Have I done anything to upset you, Xavier? I'll do anything to make it right—just please tell me what it is."
He kept pressing me about it, so I eventually agreed to try acting like we used to. But there was no way things could truly go back to how they were. I found myself actively avoiding his touch, and he seemed to notice, too.
In the end, a tangible distance grew between us. I told myself it was for the best—that at least I could still remain by his side as a close friend.
…
After taking our SATs, I didn't go straight home. Instead, I walked into a small storefront at the end of the street and slinked back out about 20 minutes later.
That night, I gingerly opened the package, bracing myself for what was inside and what was about to happen.
I hadn't even made my move when my bedroom door suddenly swung open.
I looked up in a panic, my eyes widening in surprise as I came face-to-face with Kenneth, who was standing right there.
I wanted to offer an explanation, but I couldn't think of a single thing to say.
Kenneth, on the other hand, charged straight at me.
"P-Please let go of me, Kenneth," I stammered, squirming in his grip.
It was already embarrassing enough to be caught in the act in my own bedroom, but being found out by my childhood friend—the very person I was secretly in love with—made it a thousand times worse. I couldn't help but feel my face burn with shame as I struggled to get free.
Kenneth effortlessly quelled my resistance. He swallowed hard, his gaze flickering from my face to my hands.
I quickly snatched a nearby blanket and covered myself.
I was just about to speak when he suddenly silenced me with a kiss.
"If you had told me that you liked men sooner, I wouldn't have waited so long, Xavier."
I was instantly taken aback. I was still trying to figure out what he meant when I saw him reaching out and tapping my phone screen a couple of times—it was the control for the toy I had bought.
"You're trembling so much, Xavier."
How could he do such a thing?
Kenneth glanced at the manual for the toy beside him and chuckled.
"Do you not know how to do this? Why are you still relying on a manual? I'll teach you, Xavier."
You may also like
