Chapter 4
Silence used to feel peaceful with Alexander.
It lived in the spaces between our conversations, in the moments when words weren’t necessary because understanding existed without effort. Silence was where his guarded heart rested, where my questions learned patience. But somewhere along the way, silence changed its shape.
It stopped being gentle.
It became heavy.
Days passed without seeing him. Not because he didn’t want to—at least, that’s what I told myself—but because his world was tightening around him. Meetings ran late. Flights were sudden. Emergencies appeared without warning. His messages came less frequently, shorter, stripped of warmth.
Busy day.
I’ll call later.
I miss you.
Three sentences. Over and over again.
I reread them like they might reveal something new, some hidden reassurance I’d missed the first dozen times. But words, when repeated without presence, start to lose meaning.
I tried to stay patient. I really did.
I kept myself busy—longer shifts at the café, helping my mother around the house, pretending my heart wasn’t constantly checking the time. I reminded myself that I had known from the beginning that loving him would never be easy.
Still, nights were the hardest.
I would lie awake, phone resting beside me, staring at the ceiling as thoughts crowded in. Was he sleeping alone? Was he exhausted? Was he thinking about me the way I was thinking about him?
Or was I slowly becoming a convenience—a comfort he reached for only when his world allowed it?
One evening, after nearly a week without seeing him, I finally broke.
I called.
It rang once. Twice. Three times.
Then his voice came through, low and tense. “Ava.”
Relief washed over me so suddenly it almost hurt. “Hey.”
There was a pause. Not the comfortable kind.
“I can’t talk long,” he said.
The words settled like a warning.
“I just wanted to hear your voice,” I replied softly.
Another pause. Longer this time.
“I’ve been dealing with something,” he said. “Things are… complicated right now.”
“They always are,” I said before I could stop myself.
He exhaled slowly. “What does that mean?”
“It means I feel like I’m slowly disappearing from your life,” I admitted. “Like I only exist when it’s convenient.”
“That’s not true,” he said quickly. Too quickly.
“Then why does it feel like it is?”
Silence stretched between us again, thick with unspoken truths.
“I’m protecting you,” he finally said.
I closed my eyes. “By shutting me out?”
“By keeping you away from the fallout.”
“And what about me?” I asked, my voice trembling now. “Who protects me from feeling like I don’t matter?”
He didn’t answer immediately.
When he did, his voice was softer. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“But you are,” I whispered.
That night, sleep didn’t come.
The next morning, his face was everywhere.
Another headline. Another appearance. Another photograph with Serena Vale, this one more intimate than the rest. They stood close, her hand resting confidently on his chest as cameras flashed.
The article spoke of speculation. Of whispers. Of an engagement that “made sense.”
I stared at the screen, my chest tight, my hands trembling.
Made sense.
I wondered what love was supposed to look like when it made sense to everyone except the people living it.
Hours later, my phone buzzed.
Don’t believe what you see.
I laughed softly, bitterly.
Then what should I believe? I typed back.
The response didn’t come immediately.
When it finally did, it was a single sentence.
Believe me.
I wanted to.
God, I wanted to.
That evening, he showed up unannounced.
I opened the door and found him standing there, tie loosened, eyes tired, shoulders heavy with everything he refused to put into words. Relief and anger collided inside me, leaving me breathless.
“You should’ve called,” I said.
“I needed to see you,” he replied.
I stepped aside, letting him in.
For a moment, we just stood there, facing each other, the air thick with tension. He reached for me instinctively, but I took a step back.
“No,” I said quietly. “Not yet.”
His hand fell to his side.
“Talk to me,” I continued. “Not as the billionaire. Not as the man who decides when I get to exist. Talk to me as the man who says he loves me.”
Pain flickered across his face.
“They want me to announce something,” he admitted.
My heart dropped. “An engagement.”
He nodded once. “It’s strategic. Temporary.”
“And what does that make me?” I asked. “A secret mistake?”
“You are not a mistake,” he said fiercely. “You are the only thing that feels real.”
“Then why does everything real about you happen without me?”
The question hung between us, unanswered.
He crossed the room slowly, stopping in front of me. “Because if I bring you into that world right now, it will destroy you.”
“Or maybe,” I said softly, “you’re just afraid of losing control.”
The truth landed hard.
His silence confirmed it.
Tears burned my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. “I can’t keep loving you like this, Alexander,” I said. “I can’t keep being hidden while you build a life that doesn’t include me.”
He reached for my face, his touch trembling. “Just give me time.”
I closed my eyes, leaning into his hand despite myself.
“I’ve been giving you time,” I whispered. “And all it’s done is teach me how lonely love can be.”
When he left that night, he didn’t promise anything.
And that frightened me more than any lie ever could.
Because for the first time, I realized something painful and undeniable—
Love that lives in silence doesn’t just hurt.
It teaches you how to break quietly.
You may also like
