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Chapter 3

The taxi's vinyl seats stuck to my bare legs as we crawled through Manhattan's late-night traffic, the city's neon bleeding through rain-streaked windows like watercolors left in the sun. I clutched my purse against my chest, feeling the weight of my passport inside—a document I hadn't touched in three years, not since Wyatt had convinced me that everything I needed was right here in New York.

"JFK, please," I had told the driver, my voice steadier than I felt. "International terminal."

Now, as we inched past the glowing storefronts and late-night diners, I pulled out my phone with trembling fingers. The screen still displayed Sienna's Instagram story, that perfect tableau of stolen happiness frozen in digital amber. My thumb hovered over Wyatt's contact information—seven years of messages, photos, voice mails that had once felt like lifelines and now looked like evidence of my own diminishing returns.

I started with the text messages. Each deleted conversation felt like pulling off a bandage, quick and sharp. Our first "I love you" exchange—gone. The frantic apologies after our second divorce—erased. The promises made after the third, fourth, fifth—all of it disappearing into digital oblivion with each swipe of my finger.

Next came the photos. Our wedding pictures, all seven sets of them, each one documenting my slow transformation from radiant bride to resigned participant. I paused at one from our fourth ceremony—a small affair at City Hall after Sienna's latest departure. In it, I'm smiling, but my eyes hold a wariness that I hadn't noticed then. The woman in that photo still believed in fresh starts.

Delete. Delete. Delete.

Social media was harder. Seven years of shared history sprawled across Instagram, Facebook, Twitter—a carefully curated museum of a love story that had never really existed. I blocked him on everything, watching his profile disappear from my feeds like he was being erased from existence itself. The finality of it should have felt devastating, but instead, there was only a strange lightness, as if I'd been holding my breath for years and could finally exhale.

The taxi pulled up to the departures curb, and I handed the driver a twenty without waiting for change. Inside the terminal, the fluorescent lights felt harsh after the taxi's dim interior, but I welcomed the brightness. It felt like waking up.

At the ticket counter, I pulled out my emergency credit card—the one Daddy had insisted I keep, the one Wyatt didn't know about. "Next flight to London," I told the agent, a middle-aged woman with kind eyes who didn't ask questions about my tear-stained makeup or my evening dress.

"We have a red-eye departing at 3:17 AM," she said, fingers flying over her keyboard. "First class is available."

"Perfect."

As she processed my ticket, I scrolled to my father's contact information. We hadn't spoken in two years—not since the fight about Wyatt, not since I'd chosen my husband's promises over my father's warnings. My thumb hovered over his number, and for a moment, I could hear his voice from that last conversation: "He'll never choose you, Kennedy. Not while she's still breathing."

I typed slowly, each word feeling like a small surrender: "I'm ready to come home."

The response came faster than I'd expected, as if he'd been waiting by his phone for two years: "Flight details. I'll be there."

Security was a blur of removed shoes and emptied pockets, but finally, I found myself in the gate area, surrounded by other late-night travelers with their own stories of departure. I chose a seat by the window and pulled out my phone one last time.

Wyatt's contact information stared back at me—his photo, that perfectly sculpted face that had once made my heart race. Now it just looked like a stranger wearing a familiar mask. I deleted his number, blocked his email, removed him from every digital corner of my life until there was no trace left of Wyatt Dixon in my phone.

Except for one last thing.

I opened my notes app and began typing a message I would never send, words I needed to say even if he would never hear them:

*"I won't be returning. Not this time. Not ever. I'm done being your placeholder, your consolation prize, your safe harbor between storms. I'm done being half-loved by a man who doesn't know what love means. Find me if you can, but know this—I won't be found. Not by you. Not anymore."*

I saved the note, then immediately deleted it. Some words were meant to exist only in the moment of their creation.

At 3 AM, they called my flight. As I walked down the jet bridge, my heels clicking against the metal grating, I felt something inside me shift—not breaking, but transforming. The woman boarding this plane was not the same one who had sat alone at Carnegie Hall just hours ago.

I settled into my first-class seat and accepted the champagne the flight attendant offered, even though I rarely drank. Through the small window, I could see the lights of Manhattan stretching out like a circuit board, beautiful and distant and no longer mine.

As the plane lifted off, carrying me away from seven years of broken promises and recycled dreams, I closed my eyes and let myself imagine what it might feel like to be chosen first. To be someone's only choice, not their best available option.

Somewhere below, Wyatt was probably just getting home, expecting to find me waiting with my familiar mixture of hurt and hope. Instead, he would find silence, and perhaps for the first time in his life, he would understand what it meant to be left behind.

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