Chapter 4
Days passed.
I stopped counting them.
Morning and night blurred together, each one bringing nothing but a heavier weight in my chest.
The world outside my door moved on without me.
I didn’t eat.
I didn’t leave my room.
And most of all, I never heard a single word from him.
No apology.
No explanation.
No hesitation in the choice he had made.
I supposed I had my answer.
The love I thought we had—the love I had clung to like a fool—had never even existed.
---
The first knock came on the third day.
It was soft at first. Careful.
Then firmer, more persistent.
“Luna.”
I flinched.
It was Gamma Rowan.
The only one who had dared to show me kindness in the middle of all this.
His voice was gentle, but beneath it was something else. Worry.
“I know you’re in there,” he said, his tone edged with frustration. “You can’t keep doing this.”
But I could.
And I would.
I turned my face away from the door, curling deeper into the sheets.
There was nothing to say.
He knocked again.
And again.
“Please,” he murmured. “At least eat something. Let me bring you food.”
I stared blankly at the wall.
He sighed heavily, the sound filled with disappointment.
But he didn’t leave.
Minutes passed in silence before he spoke again.
“I know you’re hurting.”
My fingers clenched into the sheets.
“Let me help,” he said. “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
A sharp, bitter laugh nearly escaped my lips.
But I was alone.
Hadn’t that been made painfully clear?
Killian hadn’t come.
He hadn’t knocked on this door.
He hadn’t even asked if I was still breathing.
He didn’t care.
Rowan lingered a few more seconds before he finally sighed again.
Then, the sound of his footsteps faded down the hall.
I waited until they were gone before I let out a shaky breath.
I hadn’t answered him.
And I never would.
There was nothing left to say.
---
That night, as darkness wrapped around the pack house, I made my choice.
If I was nothing to him…
Then I would make myself feel nothing.
I wasn’t going to beg for love that was never real.
I wasn’t going to drown in pain that was never deserved.
I was done.
Silently, I rose from my bed.
The air was cold against my skin as I slipped into the hall, my feet barely making a sound.
The corridors were empty at this hour, the world around me silent as I moved toward the healer’s chamber.
The door was unlocked.
Of course it was.
Healers needed to be ready for anything—emergencies, late-night injuries, warriors returning from battle.
But they never expected someone to come for this.
My fingers trembled slightly as I moved through the shelves, searching for what I needed.
It didn’t take long to find it.
A small vial, filled with a liquid so dark it was almost black.
My breath hitched.
This was it.
The bond-breaker.
Not strong enough to sever a mate bond entirely, but strong enough to strip away its effects.
To numb it.
To block me from ever feeling the pull toward him again.
His touch wouldn’t burn.
His voice wouldn’t send warmth through my chest.
His rejection wouldn’t shatter me anymore.
I uncorked the vial.
The scent alone was strong—bitter, metallic, tinged with something sharp that stung my throat.
I hesitated.
Not out of fear.
Not out of doubt.
But because some part of me—the broken, foolish part—was still whispering that maybe… just maybe… Killian would come for me.
That he would stop me.
That he would finally care.
But he wouldn’t.
He never would.
And I refused to be a slave to this pain any longer.
I raised the vial to my lips—
A hand clamped around my wrist.
I gasped, my body jerking as the healer, Elder Maera, yanked me back.
Her eyes were wild with alarm.
“What are you doing?” she hissed.
I didn’t answer.
Her fingers tightened around me, her nails digging into my skin. “You don’t understand what that will do to you.”
“I understand perfectly,” I whispered.
Her jaw clenched. “This isn’t the answer.”
But I was done listening.
With a sudden jerk, I pulled free from her grip—
And drank.
The liquid scorched its way down my throat.
I choked, my eyes widening as pain erupted in my chest.
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