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Chapter 3

I watched Ethan's expression harden as I explained my decision to leave his father. Standing on the edge of the lacrosse field, with the spring breeze carrying the scent of freshly cut grass, I searched desperately for any trace of the little boy who once couldn't fall asleep without me singing to him.

"Dad says this is all for attention," Ethan said, his voice eerily calm, so like Nathan's when he was being cruel. He adjusted his equipment bag higher on his shoulder, creating more distance between us without taking a single step. "I've got championships next week."

The words struck deeper than any chemotherapy burn ever could. I felt my breath catch in my throat, the pain radiating through my chest having nothing to do with the cancer eating away at my bones.

"Ethan, please," I whispered, reaching out before letting my hand fall back to my side. "There are things you don't understand—"

"I understand enough," he cut me off, glancing at his watch—a limited edition Patek Philippe that Nathan had given him for his sixteenth birthday. "I need to shower before study group."

He walked away without looking back, his tall frame—so like his father's—growing smaller with each step. I stood frozen, feeling the weight of thirteen days pressing down on me. Thirteen days to somehow reach my son. Thirteen days before I would never see him again.

Back at the Plaza, I found the first delivery waiting. An enormous arrangement of white orchids—my favorite, once upon a time, before Nathan had weaponized even that knowledge. The card read: "Come back when you're ready to behave." His handwriting hadn't changed in twenty years, still sharp and angular, like everything else about him.

I placed the flowers outside my door and called housekeeping to remove them.

By evening, three more deliveries had arrived. A Hermès handbag I'd admired months ago, a rare first edition of my favorite novel, and a Cartier watch with diamonds marking each hour. Each came with the same mocking note, each a reminder of how little Nathan understood what was happening.

I returned everything unopened, attaching a simple post-it note: "Thank you, but no thanks."

The suite felt cavernous around me as night fell. I removed my wig, letting my bare scalp breathe in the air-conditioned silence. My reflection in the bathroom mirror showed a stranger—hollow-cheeked, with shadows beneath my eyes that no concealer could hide. The woman Nathan had married was gone, replaced by this ghost preparing for her final exit.

I sat at the writing desk, pulling out the stationery with the hotel's embossed letterhead. My hand trembled slightly as I began to write.

*My dearest Ethan,*

*By the time you read this, I will be gone. I want you to know that leaving you was the hardest part of dying...*

The words flowed more easily than I expected, perhaps because I'd been composing this letter in my heart for months. I told him about the cancer that had started during my pregnancy with him—how the complications had triggered cellular changes that would eventually claim my life. I explained that I had never regretted a single moment of carrying him, even knowing the cost.

I wrote about the early days with his father, about the wire ring Nathan had twisted around my finger when we couldn't afford gold, about how we'd shared dreams over dollar pizza slices. I wanted Ethan to know there had once been love before there was cruelty.

Most importantly, I told him I forgave him for today, for all the days he'd chosen his father's world over mine. I told him I understood the allure of power and privilege, and that my greatest hope was that he would someday find something worth more than either.

As I sealed the envelope, another delivery arrived—a diamond necklace worth more than most people's homes. I added it to the pile of returned gifts, my letter to Ethan clutched in my other hand.

Thirteen days. I had thirteen days to make peace with a life that had slipped through my fingers like sand. Thirteen days to say goodbye to a son who didn't want to hear it. Thirteen days before Switzerland and the quiet room where I would finally reclaim control of my exit from this world.

I just needed to hold on until then.

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