Chapter 4
I felt like I'd come down with a terrible fever.
The instant Julian said those words, my chest seized, airless.
My throat swelled, raw and bitter.
"Vivian, here's my promise to you. No matter how far things go with Chloe, you'll always be my only wife. That part never changes."
"All right?"
There was even a thread of tenderness in his voice.
But I felt like I'd just heard the most absurd thing in the world, too stunned to speak.
He really did love Chloe. He really couldn't bear to leave her.
He wanted both of us, me and Chloe.
God. How could a man this shameless exist?
It took me a long moment to surface. I opened my mouth clumsily.
"What are you even saying, Julian."
"Don't you think this is insane? Completely ridiculous?"
Julian smiled and patted my shoulder, utterly unbothered.
"Go home and think it over."
"I'm staying here with Chloe tonight."
Then he went back into the room.
He sat down at the edge of her bed and took her hand, his eyes full of worry and tenderness.
Something struck my heart, once, then again.
He used to be exactly like this with me.
The second year of our marriage, I got sick.
Unconscious, I had him gripping my hand, crying, begging me not to leave him.
He set down all his work and watched over me day and night.
The day I was discharged, Julian had wasted away to half himself.
For the life of me, I couldn't understand how the Julian who'd loved me like that could turn around and love my sister.
The next morning, Julian came out of the room carrying Chloe.
He saw me sitting on the bench in the hallway and asked, "Vivian, did you sit here all night?"
I couldn't find a trace of concern in his voice. Only the startled fear of a man worried I'd cling and refuse to let go.
My throat tightened all at once.
Then I pushed down the unease inside me, shook my head, and held out a few documents to him.
"The hospital needs a family member to sign these. Chloe's admission forms."
Seeing how calm I was, Julian assumed I'd come around.
He smiled, relieved, freed up one hand, clumsily flipped through the forms, and scrawled his name in crooked strokes.
Then he picked Chloe back up and strode off.
I followed behind them, my heart as still as dead water.
What Julian didn't know was that, along with those hospital forms, he'd just signed a set of divorce papers.
I was slow. I was a fool. But I still had my pride.
I couldn't accept a Julian who split his heart in two, and I couldn't accept a marriage with that kind of poison in it.
I wanted the divorce. I wanted to vanish from his life completely.
After Julian took Chloe home, he didn't show up again.
I packed a few things, and before I left for good, I knocked on the door of Chloe's place.
I wanted to see how the two of them were together. Was it like the way we used to be?
Julian answered the door in matching his-and-hers loungewear.
Chloe was behind him, hanging off him affectionately, draped over him.
"Vivian, what are you doing here?"
His face fell, as if my showing up was the most inconvenient thing in the world.
"I'm staying here for now so I can look after Chloe. Once the pregnancy's stable, I'll come back and make it up to you."
I'd already made up my mind to go, and still, seeing this in front of me, I stood rooted there, gutless, as if the ground had dropped out from under me.
I made myself smile.
"You don't have to make up to me anymore."
"I'm leaving."
Julian blinked, baffled.
"Leaving? Leaving for where?"
Then, just as quickly, the impatience set in. "Vivian, you're a grown woman. Could you stop acting out over every little thing?"
"Quit it. Be good now."
I parted my lips, but before I could get a word out, Chloe called from inside, "Julian, you promised we'd make a candlelit dinner together. Hurry up."
Julian turned at once and slid an arm around her waist.
Then he lifted his hand and shut the door, closing me out.
I smiled, and in that instant everything came clear.
I turned around too.
Julian. We won't be meeting again.
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